This year I started my blog, which has been such an amazing, exciting, crazy ride. By starting this blog, I learned things about myself I don’t think I could have discovered any other way. I immersed myself in the internet and the blogging community. I have learned so much about myself, and I have opened myself a creative space, where I can create content that makes me feel good. This is something I will carry with me in 2018.
In 2017, near the end of the year especially, I allowed myself time to be creative. I have been working on my photography all year, but I had forgotten how much I love to draw and paint too. I forgot what it was like to create small works of art with my own two hands. I also revived my love for poetry. I have shared a few of my original poems on the blog, but I would love to share more. I may even post some of my artwork on the blog, or maybe create a portfolio of my work, I don’t really know where this all could go, but I am so excited to find out.
This year I cut some people out of my life. It was hard. I was close to these people, but this year something changed. I started to think about things. There comes a point when I start to care too much and for me it’s detrimental. It came to a point where I was sacrificing my own happiness too much in order to try and piece someone else’s life back together, just to find that my glue was the equivalent of water. My words had no merit. Any help I tried to offer was mute. Watching people you care about put themselves in the worst positions takes a toll on you.
I was so unhappy. I watched these people take themselves and others for granted. I watched them walk all over people, myself included. It came to a point where I just couldn’t stand to watch them do it anymore.
I tried to explain myself, but just like all my words before, my explanations fell silent. So to them, my distance probably seems like some unsettled dispute, but in reality, it’s nothing like that. The truth is that I have changed, and that is the only reason why I have separated myself from them. I discovered that I was too busy worrying about them to worry about myself. I was so busy keeping up with their lives and their drama to even realize how unhappy I really was.
I will always have fond memories of them, but I am not in a position to make any more. I am, however, inclined to surround myself with people who make me happy and make as many memories with them as possible.
I got to travel a little more than normal this year. I am a homebody, but this year I went to Michigan on two separate occasions and even visited Newport and Cincinnati, which for me, that’s a lot of traveling. I want to visit these places again in the coming year along with so many other places.
I started the long tireless journey of self-discovery this year. I can finally say with confidence I know the kind of person I am striving to be. I want to be a kind, a thoughtful, creative, strong, open-minded, optimistic and forgiving person. I want to be a friend, and not just a friend but a good one. I want to make people happy. Maybe through this blog, I can achieve some of that.
I started thinking about college and life after high school. I finally I have some plans and some ideas of where I want to go to school, but there is still so much more to consider. I am so glad that at least now I have some kind of idea of what I want to do with my life.
I have stopped striving for perfection. Every person is different, every life holds something memorable in its own way, so “perfect” can be defined by every single person on this planet differently. So my definition of perfect had always been what she has, what she wears, what she does, but now my definition has changed. Perfect is what I have, what I wear, what I do because what I am is good enough, and it took me until now to finally realize that.
2017 was quite a year, but I am so ready to see what 2018 holds.
What made your 2017 memorable?
Thanks for stopping by,