Dear 2019

Dear 2019

Dear 2019,

You were simultaneously the worst and best year of my life. I don’t know how you did it.

The highs were high, but the lows were real low.

I started off my year feeling hopeless and alone after my harasser at work crossed a line leaving me violated, scared, and wanting to quit my job that I loved so much.

Most of all I was angry at the realization that this something a lot of men just do and get away with. I somehow found the strength to not let my harasser get away with it for the safety of my younger coworkers, but the experience has haunted me ever since.

Most days the memories just sit there in my brain like background noise, other days it’s like the volume has been cranked up to 10 and I can’t turn it down.

I know I did the right thing, but I think that’s one of the scariest things about being a woman, this can always happen again and more than likely it will. It opened my eyes to all the sexism in our world that needs to be addressed. So thanks for this both enlightening and horrifying experience, 2019. It sucked.

Things started looking up though. Around this time I learned about the opportunity to travel abroad with my school, and much to my surprise, my dad said yes.

And so, I was going on an adventure of a lifetime. My trip to Spain this summer will forever be one of my favorite memories and I am beyond excited to go back, hopefully in the near future.

However, right before this trip during the end of my senior year, 2019, you challenged me more so than anything else ever has in my life. You broke me completely and I really do mean that. The two people I trusted more than anyone else in the world at the time walked out of my life and left me completely alone when I needed them most. Worse yet, they hated me and I will never in my lifetime know why. I try really hard to tell myself that’s okay.

My closest friend at the time walked out of my life when my mental state was falling apart, and I was left to fend for myself in a sea of emotions I didn’t understand. That is something, 2019, I can never forgive you for. I wouldn’t wish that experience on my worst enemies, which believe it or not, I don’t consider these girls to be.

Quite frankly I can’t help but wish them the best. I hope in this next decade they find themselves and that they finally grow up. Tearing others down is a trend that needs to die this decade and I’m serious. Talking shit breaks lives, don’t ever forget it.

My trip to Spain was something that helped me in more ways than I think anyone will ever understand. It allowed me to escape from it all for a little while and it pushed me out of my comfort zone. Exploring the country with my favorite Spanish teachers and new friends was an experience I wouldn’t ever trade for the world.

Even better yet, when I came home, I found the people in my life who actually give a damn about me and have never given up on me. To my amazing parents, my beautiful sister, my incredible best friend, my friends who never left my side, and my fantastic new friends I met at college, thank you all for saving my life.

You reminded me that I am loved when I had never felt more unloved in my entire life. You reminded me that it’s okay to not be okay, but when you’re not okay, you have to lean on the people who care about you most, and you have to do it knowing that you’re not a burden to them because they know you would do the same for them in an instant.

I’m the kind of person who has it in her head that the universe is out to get her, and so she doesn’t deserve any good things that cross her path. That’s a mindset I’m going to try my hardest to leave behind in 2019.

If I’m completely honest, the only things I have left to say to 2019 is: Fuck you and thank you, next.

I’m a stronger person because of all the things you put me through, 2019, but I hope I never have to endure anything like it ever again. There are so many things I want to forget from 2019, but there are also memories I hope to never forget. You were the perfect combination of horrible and amazing, and I just hope I never have another year like, no offense, but seriously. 2019, you were kinda the worst.

So 2019, you broke me then put me all back together again and I truly don’t know how you did it, but thank you for making it happen. You introduced me to some of the most amazing people this year and I can’t wait to see how these relationships grow in the future. These relationships got me through this year, and I will forever be grateful for that, even though you really did screw me over most of the rest of the year, but I promise I’ll try not to hold too much of a grudge.

See ya never, 2019. Let’s get this thing started already, 2020.

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2019 Goals: For life, for my health, & for the blog

2019 Goals: For life, for my health, & for the blog

My 2019 Mantra:

“I will not be another lightning strike, seen for a second and forgotten just as fast. I will be a never ending storm. Chased by many. Caught by few. Remembered by all.” — Erin Van Vuren

Happy New Year!

I feel like I say it every year, but this time, I feel like 2019 is actually gonna be my year. 2018 was alright. It was full of challenges and triumphs, happiness and heartbreak, soul searching and getting lost all over again.

2018 was a lot of things. I’m grateful for all the things I learned, did, achieved, and discovered, but I am so glad it’s over.

2019 is the year I graduate, travel abroad, start college, and I literally don’t even know what else yet.

I guess that is the best, scariest, and most rewarding part of January 1st. There is a whole year in front of me now, waiting to happen. Full of the unknown, the unexpected, and the unplanned. I’m not going to know what happens until I get there, so I can’t spend too long dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. There just isn’t time.

Even though there’s so much I don’t know about 2019, I still want to have some kind of plan. So like I do every year, I made a list of goals that I want to try and achieve this year. I divided it into three categories this year, health, life, and the blog.

Health Goals

  • Take better care of my hair, as I’d like to donate it in the future!
  • Get more sleep (a yearly goal, but I swear I mean it).
  • Drink a heck ton more water.
  • RELAX.
  • Spend less time on my phone. Get lost in the moment more.
  • Take better care of myself overall.

“If you get tired learn to rest, not to quit.”

— Banksy

Life Goals

  • Have fun: there’s so many freaking exciting things happening for me in 2019, graduating, going to Spain, starting college, and who knows what else could happen, but what’s most important is that I have fun because if you told my fourteen-year-old self four years ago that everything was going to be okay and that’d I’d make it this far, I’d have never believed you.
  • Be more optimistic. I preach positivity, but some days it isn’t always the easiest. I want to refocus on being a positive person and spreading positivity and acknowledge that even when it’s tough, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
  • Have a bigger impact. Donate to more charities, volunteer, donate clothes to a place you know needs them, and try to be more selfless. You know you want to do these things, it’s about time you did them. 
  • Write every single day. Whether it be in a journal, a blog post, or even just notes in my planner, I want to write something each day.
  • Be a little more fearless. Be a little less scared to take risks, put yourself out there, and don’t be afraid of what others will think.
  • Read!! Quit adding books to my list that I want to read and then putting it off.

“She liked the moon because like herself, it shined it’s brightest when no one was around to see.”

Blog Goals

  • ENGAGE MORE. Like and comment, on social media other blog posts, etc. on the daily to help build engagement. Can’t build and audience if you aren’t part of one!
  • Be active even when life gets crazy. One of my top goals is to post more on my stories, even on days when I’m not working on content, just so you guys know I’m still here, and that I’m planning on getting back at it ASAP.
  • Be bold. Take more fun photos that may require a little bit of risk in public. 
  • Think outside the box and take creative risks that push my content to where I want to be.
  • Ask for help and don’t be embarrassed about it. It’s almost impossible for me to do everything myself, whether it be brainstorming content ideas, building outfits, or even taking photos, I want to be better about asking for help creating content.
  • Don’t doubt my abilities, test them and build on them.

“You have to go whole heartedly into anything in order to achieve anything worth having.”

— Frank Lloyd Wright

Wishing you a very happy new year! I hope you achieve all your goals in 2019!

“May you always be the one who notices the little things that make the light pour through, and may they always remind you: There is more to life and there is more to you.”

— Morgan Harper Nichols

xoxo, Katie

My Goals for 2018

My Goals for 2018

Happy New Year! I can hardly believe 2017 has already come and gone. I honestly can’t say I remember who I was during this time last year only because I know she would be a complete stranger to me now. So who am I today? I am a 17-year-old girl, aspiring to be a lifestyle blogger, creative individual, and all around a better person who is hopeful for the future. Continue reading “My Goals for 2018”